"Publication is not all that it's cracked up to be...
...but writing is."
Bird by Bird
Sometimes you read a sentence that takes your breath away. And so it was when I read the intro to ‘Bird by Bird’ by Anne Lamott this week.
As a writer riding the waves of my first publication, Breaking Waves, I feel as if I am observing the experience from outside myself with curiosity. Being ‘traditionally’ published is an extraordinary experience, and one I am extremely grateful to be in the midst of, but even my predisposition to gratitude says a lot about how the process can make you feel. I write about the detail of this in my series ‘The Book Deal Diaries’, but the words in Anne Lamott’s introduction have caused me to think of this in the round:
“I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing that you had to force yourself to do - the actual act of writing - turns out to be the best part. It’s like discovering that while you though you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony.”
The joy of writing
Amidst the marketing, the pitching, the faintly humiliating begging for attention/endorsements and the uncomfortable power dynamics that play out in several of the relationships key to being traditionally published, it’s good to be reminded of the joy of writing. At an absolutely brilliant memoir writing day recently with
we talked about all of these things. At one point whilst chatting about highs and lows, and how although we may have experienced some ‘highs’ in our lives through activities, drugs, alcohol or whatever…someone noted that there really is nothing like the wonder of being in the flow of writing. I wholeheartedly agree.[Oh and if you ever get the chance to join Clover on a future retreat I HIGHLY recommend - it was unlike any other I’ve experienced.]
The joy of writing is something I discovered much later in life. The last time I ‘studied’ English Literature was for my GCSE when I was 16. I do not have a degree in English or a Masters in Creative Writing. I have not worked as a journalist or a copy writer, in fact the ‘craft’ of writing has never been part of my working life. In my 16 years as an operational Air Traffic Controller the nearest I came to even writing a word was scribbling acronyms on the paper strips that represented each aircraft I was speaking to. As I moved paper (and later electronic) tiles around on a board to correlate with the instructions I was transmitting to aircraft on my radar screen or out the window of the control tower, I would scribe in the language of aviation, but these were not real words, and not so much as a sniff of a sentence.
I had always written travel journals, and spent some time writing children’s poetry - even before I had children - so there was definitely a draw. It wasn’t until I did my Masters, however, [nothing literary - Crisis and Disaster Management including the study of plane crashes and why humans make the decisions we do under pressure] that I experienced what I can only describe as the ‘bliss’ of flow writing. Often, for me, it occurred in the hours approaching midnight when my children were asleep. Sat in my little cubby at the bottom of the stairs with a glass of red wine and a pot of tea, hours would disappear. Suddenly it would be 2am and I’d emerge from my splurge of creativity as if from a trance. The next morning I would revisit the words feeling pride and elation as I marvelled at having crafted something not just coherent, but impactful. That is when I truly began to see writing as art.
I must admit that the ability to craft words into something coherent certainly didn’t come straight away. When I showed my sister my first essay, she was bemused, and gently fed back that I had just written a lot of sentences with no structure whatsoever. I think I have perhaps tipped to the other end of the pendulum as I now veer towards extremely long paragraphs with no break. I will settle eventually. Although at present I have an editor…so there certainly are many things to thank the publication process for.
Hotter than Lorraine Kelly
Have I always wanted to write? Well yes I’ve always loved writing – did I ever think I’d write a book? Not until about 4 years ago. I was going to ride out my days in aviation until I became sick and was medically retired. Know that it’s ok not to have ‘always wanted to be a writer’. That doesn’t make you any less of a writer. You may still not know if you want to be ‘a writer’ - don’t let that stop you from experiencing the joy of writing.
Having had no background in the field, I was amused and delighted when someone messaged me this week to say that my book was number 1 in the Amazon ‘hot new releases’ chart. I’m not entirely sure how this happened, as it’s not even out until March 2025, but I’ll take it. One of my friends pointed out this made me ‘hotter than Lorraine Kelly’ as she was at number 3. If you don’t know who she is - she is a much beloved TV presenter in the UK and somebody you would like to be your mum, sister, best friend and daughter all wrapped up into one. I think loving Lorraine Kelly is probably prerequisite for UK visa applications.
How my ‘yet to be published’ book is hovering in the realms of hers I honestly don’t understand, but it all began with simply, writing. Writing something that developed iteratively, that grew and evolved, but that began with hours sitting at my writing desk getting lost in the trance. In the stages before I needed to edit, perfect and structure - where I wrote with a freedom that energised my soul. Allowing myself to write thousands of words that didn’t end up in the book, but absolutely shaped and moulded everything that did. Words that brought me joy as I revelled in memories and images that ended up being words just for me, in the most beautiful way.
The point is that I wholeheartedly agree with Anne Lamott’s perspective about not getting hung up on the strive for publication, instead to always, but always come back to the experience of writing in itself. To that end, here are some things I have learnt so far, and I hope it may inspire you to write something, perhaps even today…and to allow yourself to enjoy it without expectation.
What you don’t need to have to be a writer:
A background in writing, academia, journalism or anything similar.
A degree or qualification in anything related to English or writing (although I do want to do one just for the learning and fun!)
Consistent times and a regular routine.
My life is chaotic and I have complex chronic health issues. One of the number one bits of advice I read is about the need for writing consistently. I’m going to throw that one out the window. If it works for you – wonderful, but if it doesn’t, don’t let that be a barrier to beginning. I do not write daily, nowhere near. I do not write at a set time on the days I do write, or for a set duration. I write when I can, when I’m able, when I’m inspired, when I’m happy, when I’m sad… I write in bits and pieces, and in that way I managed to write a book. This isn’t a recommendation, it’s just to say that if this is the only way you can write, it still works.
The ability to get up at 5am and write before your household awakes.
Seriously never gonna happen in my world. It’s ok to snatch time when you can.
A dedicated writing space.
You can make that in your kitchen. Mark it out as an activity separate from the ‘daily drudge’ by lighting a candle, making tea in your favourite mug, wrapping yourself in a blanket. Make it feel special, and time dedicated to you. Go to a café, library or an art gallery - you can write in many places for free. If it’s sunny, take your notebook/laptop down to the park. You can write on the train. I did many of my Masters essays on the commute to and from work. I write anywhere and everywhere.
A social media ‘following’.
I talk about this in the Book Deal Diaries in terms of what is expected if you want to get published (and just for reassurance, it doesn’t have to be anything significant at all). But this isn’t about getting published for now, this is about writing. So forget the stats, ignore the comparisons and go with the flow.
Confidence in your ability to write
Yes, I did mean to include that here. You don’t need to have confidence in your ability, you just need to crack on and get writing. Everyone holds self-doubt and imposter syndrome at times, and I mean everyone. The confidence can come later.
A defined subject to write about
You don’t need a beginning, a middle and an end. You only need to begin. Anne Lamott likens it to the view in car headlights - you don’t need to be able to see the destination, just a few feet in front of you as the story unfolds. Perhaps you feel ‘blocked’. Her advice on this?
‘The word blocked suggests that you are constipated or stuck, when the truth is that you’re empty’
If you’re empty, find somewhere to fill yourself up. For me, this is swimming in the lake, getting outside, reading other people’s words, talking with friends. Think about what this may look like for you - people watching, a good movie, walking barefoot in the park… and while you’re doing that, perhaps consider the points to follow:
What you do need to have to be a writer:
Curiosity
A way of seeing and feeling the world with an inquisitive nature.
Courage
Allow yourself to write freely without limits, without worrying about the consequences. Write what you want to write, not what you think you should. Let the words out, you can edit/delete later. The treasures will be buried within, however if you write with limitations, they may never come to fruition. You can hone for your reader at the editing stage, but you’ll struggle to get that far without letting yourself enjoy unfettered writing first. Here’s a little mantra for you:
Write like no one is ever going to read your words.
(My new take on “dance like no one is watching you.”)
Interest
This is subtly different from curiosity and is really about noticing, and listening. As you go about your days, notice the small things, let those play into your imagination. In conversations, really listen. People are absolutely fascinating. I noticed a bee whilst I was swimming one time, and it became a really beautiful, and unexpected part of my book. The excerpt is here.
A notebook (or a mobile phone with ‘notes’).
You will overhear or observe things that are absolute gems. Always have a way of capturing them to return to later. You think you’ll remember them, but you won’t.
A support network
Somewhere to go for those moment when you feel alone. If you don’t have friends or family that support you that’s ok. Perhaps you haven’t even told anyone close to you about your writing. That support network can be right here on
. There is a wonderful community in the comments and messages. My number one writing group recommendation is writing hour also here on Substack. It’s inspirational, kind, connecting. I look forward to it twice a week, every week.Outside of Substack there are many communities with live writing hours like The London Writer’s Salon (I think the writing hours are free and you certainly don’t have to be in London). Across the UK there are many live, in-person writing event through communities like The Society of Authors, and Byte the Book. Be around other writers - they will understand, empathise and support.
Bravery in asking for help
On which note, writers I have met are, to a fault, generous. Several high profile and Sunday Times Bestselling authors have agreed to review my book…but only because I asked them. It’s hard not to squirm but as one said to me: ‘we all had to ask’. Whilst part of the human condition is to feel deeply uncomfortable asking for help- especially if we feel we cannot immediately reciprocate - another part of the human condition is how much we enjoy helping others without expecting anything in return. It makes us feel good - so reframe how you look at ‘asking for help’. If you would enjoy helping someone ‘for nothing’, is it not possible that they may enjoy helping you?
Finally…books
To be a writer, you need to be around books. To surround and immerse yourself with other writers’ words. To absorb poetry. To challenge your own thoughts and biases, to bathe in the beauty of language and to inhale inspiration and knowledge from a variety of pages.
Even if it’s just for 5 minutes, the key is to begin. That’s when the magic happens. And when it happens, it is wonderful.
So just for now, just for today, fill yourself up with inspiration. Write like no one is ‘reading’ you. Get out the words that are burning to be written and revel in the delight of expressing those thoughts, dreams and ideas without deadlines or expectation. You never know where it may lead…
Most of all, enjoy it, as:
“The act of writing turns our to be its own reward.”
Does this resonate with you? Do you put barriers in the way of writing? How do you ‘fill yourself up’ when you need inspiration?
I’d love to hear.
As always,
Love & lemons 💕🍋
Em xx
If you want to learn more about the book publication process (what it’s REALLY like) then you can read all about that on my dedicated Book Deal Diaries series. This includes the ultimate VIDEO MASTERCLASS ‘From Book Inception to Book Deal Moment’. Paid subscribers have access to all of it.
You can pre-order BREAKING WAVES here:
Thank you Emma, I think your what you don’t need list is so inspiring. I can tick them all off as not having them, but then again 🤔… It has made me think and to carry on regardless. I love writing 😘😘
I’m a new follower here, and new to writing. I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear so much of your writing today. I needed the hope that you can succeed without so many of the resume requirements and checklists to success we hear. Thank you!