I used to teach ‘pacing’ to folks with chronic illness. Made it sound so easy. What an ass I was. Now I need to pace and fuck me, it’s hard work. Why are rhythms of rest and work so hard to achieve?
This I do know - when my limbs ache and my brain is like porridge, then a gentle stroll in the garden, a sniff of my roses and a gathering up of the pine cones that fell in last night’s storm will be much more restful than sitting here trying - and failing - to write anything worth reading.
EXACTLY Jeannie!!! Yes to this! Those rhythms are so hard to find. I have been taught and learnt everything there is to know about pacing, spoon theory, all of it. My spoons are in deficit but it's not as simple as 'resting' is it. Being 'outdoors' is my normal go-to, but today I am nourishing myself with reading, and gentle connecting. How very lovely to see you here ❤️
I wrote an article about rest recently too. What has our culture done to us that we feel the need to justify it? 😆 Well, that's part of it, but sometimes writing itself can be part of rest, right?
Oh yes writing is definitely part of rest for me. It is a huge release. I am beyond feeling the need to ‘justify’ it although I know that is huge for many.. My challenge is creating the space for it, even though I absolutely know how critical it is for me. Crazy x
Had to read this with that title today! I’ve been rushing around for weeks but woke up not very well this morning with a cold (not Covid thankfully) and am flopped on the sofa. I have two parties to go to today, one of them is at the end of a an exercise class. Just working out how much I can do/not do today. I’ve just slept 10 hours.
Husband is away and it’s raining out, I made enough dinner last night to have the second half today, and there is lots of healthy food in the house so no need to shop. I am not doing any laundry that’s for when the husband gets back. I don’t write my book at the weekends and don’t do any Byte The Book work at the weekend either. The hardest thing for me is not exercising and fear of putting on weight. But oh
my word rest is SO important!!
Your article so resonated with me today. One thing that came to mind and made me cheer a little when you talked about what had to go see Cyndi Lauper and it being brilliant fun was this:
We often do too much in our life that is death avoiding (work, earning money etc) and not enough life enhancing.
Writing can be life enhancing for you and for others.
Oh Justine you are just awesome - and 'death avoiding' made me both laugh out loud and cry inside - that is SO true!! Writing is so life enhancing for me, but I have to be careful not to go too far with it today so that I don't tip into 'work' mode, and stay in connecting mode. It's all such a fine balance. It's brilliant that you don't write your book or BTB work at weekends, I applaud you for that. Your exercise comment breaks my heart a little but I know these things are deep rooted and complex. You are so beautiful, I hope you can allow yourself that kindness today and let your body rest and repair, without the demons pecking at your mind. Listen to your soul my lovely friend. Rest in the way that you know you need to 🫶
Having Covid (yet again🙄) this week has forced me to rest.. It’s funny how even in rest we feel the need to “achieve”.. finish a book, write that letter, etc.. I too have had to master the frustrating art of pacing! What a bore! 🥱😆 Having said that though, in slowing down and finding more balance in my life, I have unearthed a new and very pleasant calm and stillness that I didn’t know I needed. Although I don’t enjoy the pain and suffering my chronic illness has brought me, I am grateful for the slower and more peaceful life it has forced me to live 🙏💕
Oh I've just seen this!! Can't believe you've had Covid again - nooooooo..... I didn't finish any of those books, I am reading them at a much slower pace. My flare got worse although I think I may be coming out of it now, and yes I agree with your last comment whole heartedly... Slowing down is HARD, but it can be beautiful. Sometimes it just doesn't fit, and sometimes it's all that fits. Much love my friend x
I too am trying to rest today but find it hard to stop !!
Family can cope without me tho 💜
I also need a physical rest today after swimming the pier to pier at Bournemouth yesterday - I thought it would be a breeze , but having had a couple of injuries and not going to do it a couple of weeks ago ,I am glad I did - a slow pace but I loved it once I accepted I had to pace myself - and my lovely friend who should have whizzed off stuck by my side and we did it together !!
Wow - the pier to pier at Bournemouth is something I've wanted to do for years!! I used to live in Bournemouth and I was at a Uni visit with my daughter the weekend of the swim!! Huge well done for the swim I'd love to hear about it. And I love that about your friend - I had a very similar experience in Dover Harbour once with a swim buddy who came back to my side and stayed with me through an hour and 40 mins in choppy waters with jellyfish! Friends indeed.
I hope you have managed to get some rest my friend 🫶
Oh Emma feeling this and wow you have been busy! I have very much been feeling into the idea of midsummer pause, the time of year that is after the growth seasons but before the harvest and it feels like this is naturally what we should be doing! (Obviously not only now but it feels important as summer can sometimes feel pressurised, in terms of feeling as though we ‘should’ in being out and about and doing all of the things/making the most of light/weather etc). Your day sounds glorious and well done for not editing (it read beautifully!), very inspired I am definitely guilty of spending far too long editing/tweaking/rewriting! I am with my in-laws this afternoon and little ones are being entertained so I am curled up reading in the garden (with my jumper on!) xx
I am terrible for tweaking and editing!! It was quite liberating to write something straight through and publish it!! I love what you say about the seasons, and leaning into the pause between growth and harvest. That’s very powerful. Glad you are getting some time for you ❤️ I’m curled up on the sofa with my 15 year old watching Glastonbury with halloumi 🤣. Very happy 😍
As you know, Emma, the permission to rest must come from our inner voice. I know the struggle. As an old psychotherapist I ask the question once asked of clients...'who would you be if you stopped rushing and doing?' and 'what is this need need saying?'
But you're on the right track. First we set the course and then begin the journey.
Lovely, wise Frances ❤️. I am much better at giving myself theoretical permission to rest, although still struggle to see it through. I love that question, I think it’s hugely important. I have managed to separate myself from the need to be all things to all people, and to have an identity beyond ‘service’…but the actuality of doing it? It’s a work in progress! Xx
Resting here too today. Absolutely done in after a month of travel and family. Rest looked like a deep sleep in the mid-afternoon where I woke up thinking I was still in Italy! Yay to resting, it's the essential skill of midlife womanhood ❤️
Aah that sounds lovely!! As long as it gives you the rest you need... perhaps cognitive if not physical! Try and take some down time my friend, it sounds like we all 'do too much'....!! 🫶
After I posted that I thought, sod the jam! Went instead and hung out with mates, listening to music in the park at Hexham. Feel so much better for it!
I used to teach ‘pacing’ to folks with chronic illness. Made it sound so easy. What an ass I was. Now I need to pace and fuck me, it’s hard work. Why are rhythms of rest and work so hard to achieve?
This I do know - when my limbs ache and my brain is like porridge, then a gentle stroll in the garden, a sniff of my roses and a gathering up of the pine cones that fell in last night’s storm will be much more restful than sitting here trying - and failing - to write anything worth reading.
EXACTLY Jeannie!!! Yes to this! Those rhythms are so hard to find. I have been taught and learnt everything there is to know about pacing, spoon theory, all of it. My spoons are in deficit but it's not as simple as 'resting' is it. Being 'outdoors' is my normal go-to, but today I am nourishing myself with reading, and gentle connecting. How very lovely to see you here ❤️
I wrote an article about rest recently too. What has our culture done to us that we feel the need to justify it? 😆 Well, that's part of it, but sometimes writing itself can be part of rest, right?
Oh yes writing is definitely part of rest for me. It is a huge release. I am beyond feeling the need to ‘justify’ it although I know that is huge for many.. My challenge is creating the space for it, even though I absolutely know how critical it is for me. Crazy x
Had to read this with that title today! I’ve been rushing around for weeks but woke up not very well this morning with a cold (not Covid thankfully) and am flopped on the sofa. I have two parties to go to today, one of them is at the end of a an exercise class. Just working out how much I can do/not do today. I’ve just slept 10 hours.
Husband is away and it’s raining out, I made enough dinner last night to have the second half today, and there is lots of healthy food in the house so no need to shop. I am not doing any laundry that’s for when the husband gets back. I don’t write my book at the weekends and don’t do any Byte The Book work at the weekend either. The hardest thing for me is not exercising and fear of putting on weight. But oh
my word rest is SO important!!
Your article so resonated with me today. One thing that came to mind and made me cheer a little when you talked about what had to go see Cyndi Lauper and it being brilliant fun was this:
We often do too much in our life that is death avoiding (work, earning money etc) and not enough life enhancing.
Writing can be life enhancing for you and for others.
This article really was life enhancing.
Thank you xxx
Oh Justine you are just awesome - and 'death avoiding' made me both laugh out loud and cry inside - that is SO true!! Writing is so life enhancing for me, but I have to be careful not to go too far with it today so that I don't tip into 'work' mode, and stay in connecting mode. It's all such a fine balance. It's brilliant that you don't write your book or BTB work at weekends, I applaud you for that. Your exercise comment breaks my heart a little but I know these things are deep rooted and complex. You are so beautiful, I hope you can allow yourself that kindness today and let your body rest and repair, without the demons pecking at your mind. Listen to your soul my lovely friend. Rest in the way that you know you need to 🫶
Having Covid (yet again🙄) this week has forced me to rest.. It’s funny how even in rest we feel the need to “achieve”.. finish a book, write that letter, etc.. I too have had to master the frustrating art of pacing! What a bore! 🥱😆 Having said that though, in slowing down and finding more balance in my life, I have unearthed a new and very pleasant calm and stillness that I didn’t know I needed. Although I don’t enjoy the pain and suffering my chronic illness has brought me, I am grateful for the slower and more peaceful life it has forced me to live 🙏💕
Oh I've just seen this!! Can't believe you've had Covid again - nooooooo..... I didn't finish any of those books, I am reading them at a much slower pace. My flare got worse although I think I may be coming out of it now, and yes I agree with your last comment whole heartedly... Slowing down is HARD, but it can be beautiful. Sometimes it just doesn't fit, and sometimes it's all that fits. Much love my friend x
I’m enjoying a lazy morning of tea and scones. Reading posts and not making any lists. Sunday morning ‘me’ time Enjoy your blissful day
Sounds delightful 💕
Hope you are enjoying your well earned rest !!
I too am trying to rest today but find it hard to stop !!
Family can cope without me tho 💜
I also need a physical rest today after swimming the pier to pier at Bournemouth yesterday - I thought it would be a breeze , but having had a couple of injuries and not going to do it a couple of weeks ago ,I am glad I did - a slow pace but I loved it once I accepted I had to pace myself - and my lovely friend who should have whizzed off stuck by my side and we did it together !!
True friendship 💜
Wow - the pier to pier at Bournemouth is something I've wanted to do for years!! I used to live in Bournemouth and I was at a Uni visit with my daughter the weekend of the swim!! Huge well done for the swim I'd love to hear about it. And I love that about your friend - I had a very similar experience in Dover Harbour once with a swim buddy who came back to my side and stayed with me through an hour and 40 mins in choppy waters with jellyfish! Friends indeed.
I hope you have managed to get some rest my friend 🫶
Oh Emma feeling this and wow you have been busy! I have very much been feeling into the idea of midsummer pause, the time of year that is after the growth seasons but before the harvest and it feels like this is naturally what we should be doing! (Obviously not only now but it feels important as summer can sometimes feel pressurised, in terms of feeling as though we ‘should’ in being out and about and doing all of the things/making the most of light/weather etc). Your day sounds glorious and well done for not editing (it read beautifully!), very inspired I am definitely guilty of spending far too long editing/tweaking/rewriting! I am with my in-laws this afternoon and little ones are being entertained so I am curled up reading in the garden (with my jumper on!) xx
I am terrible for tweaking and editing!! It was quite liberating to write something straight through and publish it!! I love what you say about the seasons, and leaning into the pause between growth and harvest. That’s very powerful. Glad you are getting some time for you ❤️ I’m curled up on the sofa with my 15 year old watching Glastonbury with halloumi 🤣. Very happy 😍
That's a fantastic post! Our current generation of young children needs to learn this, as the fast pace of the world is teaching them not to rest.
So true, the pace they live at is not sustainable. Hopefully we can put the brakes on things and show them another way 💜
As you know, Emma, the permission to rest must come from our inner voice. I know the struggle. As an old psychotherapist I ask the question once asked of clients...'who would you be if you stopped rushing and doing?' and 'what is this need need saying?'
But you're on the right track. First we set the course and then begin the journey.
xx
Lovely, wise Frances ❤️. I am much better at giving myself theoretical permission to rest, although still struggle to see it through. I love that question, I think it’s hugely important. I have managed to separate myself from the need to be all things to all people, and to have an identity beyond ‘service’…but the actuality of doing it? It’s a work in progress! Xx
Enjoy your rest lovely one 💙
🫶
Resting here too today. Absolutely done in after a month of travel and family. Rest looked like a deep sleep in the mid-afternoon where I woke up thinking I was still in Italy! Yay to resting, it's the essential skill of midlife womanhood ❤️
YES!! And I love that I have finally learned to nap. I was a rubbish napper when I was younger, but recently I have become an expert 🤣
Wishing you a peaceful day my friend, from my side of the world to yours ❤️
Oh, I hear you, Emma! I'm completely frazzled too - and what am I doing to rest? Picking gooseberries and making jam! 😜
Rest well, my friend 💓
Aah that sounds lovely!! As long as it gives you the rest you need... perhaps cognitive if not physical! Try and take some down time my friend, it sounds like we all 'do too much'....!! 🫶
After I posted that I thought, sod the jam! Went instead and hung out with mates, listening to music in the park at Hexham. Feel so much better for it!
Yes Sue!! Love that 🙌🥰