I love this Emma. I see lots of teen girls and young women in my therapy practice. It's such a tough time and I so want to rescue them from going through the mistakes that I made! Most importantly I want to teach young women to know their yeses from their nos and to know how to articulate them. Sounds like you are doing a fabulous job through these rollercoaster years ❤️
The work that you do is so meaningful and important, what a privilege to support young women at these critical life stages. I have so much respect and gratitude for what you do x
Wonderful writing, Emma. Reading this with tears flowing down my face. Your girls are so lucky to have you, and your love shines through. Isn't it wonderful when we can build these relationships with our youngsters, change the stories of our past, especially for those of us who didn't have mothers that were there for us
Changing the stories of our past - yes, beautifully put. I think that can be such a challenge for so many reasons. I was lucky to have very supportive parents, but still relatively strict Irish Catholic ones that I wouldn't necessarily have been ringing when I was in trouble!! Thank you for your lovely words xx
What an incredible piece … always so detailed in all the ups and downs that life brings on a daily basis - and so reassuring (you are like my own mother toddler support group for the teenage years 😜) thank you as always for sharing xxxx
Oh my goodness. I want to hug you for putting all of this into these beautiful words. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have three boys, and the older two are 14 and 16. Even with not knowing what it is to have daughters (although I grew up with two sisters), all of this rings so very true. I have said so many times that I feel out of my depth in these years, that I'm not sure my heart can take much more worry while it bursts daily with love and pride for the young men coming into their own in my very kitchen over breakfast. And the timing of it...with all the challenges of midlife...it's a perfect storm some days. And others, when we're in sync and I can see glimpses of "this is how we're going to be," my heart aches at the beauty of it. Thank you so much for writing this.
Thank you for your beautiful response!! It is exactly that - the worry and the bursts of love and pride - whether it be boys and girls, they are our babies and they are becoming their own real selves which is utterly wonderful and terrifying. And yes it makes the heart ache at that beauty, I wonder if we will ever be able to sit back and relax enough to enjoy that wholly!! Much love x
Haha I have never forgotten that one. Middle of the night 'mum!! Why do I have arms???'. FFS 🤣 and yes the feather moment still makes me shudder. Thank you so much, it's so lovely to connect with you xxx
Fabulous, I’ll read properly again later but my head was nodding along. I have one almost 15 year old daughter, an almost 19 year old son and another soon to be 21 year old son. I said to a friend I bumped into yesterday that there’s been some heavy duty parenting going on recently. She smiled in recognition but we also both agreed that it’s pretty darn brilliant too. Talk about waking me up as a human being. I’m knackered because they keep me mentally & emotionally on my toes. All.The.Time 😂
This truly filled my soul this morning while waiting for my daughter to return home tonight, from her Spring Break away. She too is on the cusp of discovery & becoming her own while I navigate the journey of just “being” in that space of unconditional love and support … Knowing the challenges that we will both face! Thank you so much for sharing your words, reflection and letter that showcases so much beauty and wisdom on that path 💗
Oh Lacey I know that feeling!!! Thank you for your beautiful response and for making me know I do have a support network, right here. It is not easy but we are not alone!! Much love xx
I loved reading this Emma - thanks to a share from Lindsay Johnstone. I have an 11 year old daughter on the cusp of going to secondary school and I'm always on the look out for those few brave adventurers who are a few years further ahead up the parenting mountain! I've always said it doesn't exactly get easier, it changes. The challenges of a sassy tween are of a different order from toddler meltdowns, but they are still meltdowns. My emotional download clinic is always busy too!
I'm so glad to have connected with you here. I honestly think we need to work out a new emotional download clinic booking system - there are no limits on accessibility right now 🤣. The parenting mountain - ain't that the truth. Much love x
Love this Emma, beautifully written! I’m navigating this stage with my daughter too, who just turned 18. These in-between years are so different to when they are young, but the worry level has been off the scale! Especially after Covid like you say, sitting in parks in the dark while I fretted at home! Though I remember doing the same and more at that age! 😬 Thanks for sharing, lovely photos too!
Literally sat at home last night fretting whilst my daughter was in a park in the dark!! And yes - I also remember doing the same and more at that age!! Thank you so much, it's a tricky but wonderful time! xx
Such a beautiful read Emma. I am not a mother, but a mother of sorts as I help to raise my niece. She is 10 this year, and I’m already thinking about secondary school and who I want to be for her. I love that phrase you have used with your daughters and I may well steal it. Thank you for a lovely Sunday article xx
Thank you so much, and yes!! Steal away!! The auntie role is so important. My sister doesn’t have children which actually gives her an incredibly important and special role in her niece’s lives. She has an invaluable perspective that isn’t influenced by or distracted with ‘mothering’ herself and I’m grateful for that every day. We’ve had some really tricky times where she has stepped in as the ‘safe’ adult without them feeling parented and it has been so needed. I think that whether or not we have our own children, we have all been that vulnerable young woman, and it’s really about putting a circle of fierce love around other young women however and wherever they may show up in our lives. How lucky your niece is to have you ❤️
A beautiful read, Emma. Reading that made me wish my own parents had been more like you during the teenage years. They were (and still are with their grandkids) amazing at dealing with babies and toddlers but I think got a little bewildered when we all got to the teenage years.
The story about your daughter reminded me of when my sister was about 16 (she’s 6 years younger than me). I was at university in London at the time when I had a phone call from her at about 9pm telling me in an extremely garbled way that she needed my parents to pick her up from a party but was scared to tell them. I phoned my parents who were out for dinner somewhere and said “you need to go and pick her up NOW” when they were saying they’d finish their meal and then go. When they eventually got there they realised that she did need them and was in a mess. It was nice that she’d called me, but I was hundreds of miles away, so couldn’t go myself! Xx
Yes it’s exactly that situation I’m trying to prevent! When I was a teenager I would NEVER have called my parents when I was in a fix, but I would have called my sister (also 6 years older!!). As my girls grew into teenagers I wanted to try and instil that they could call me, that no matter what, I would make them safe. Like I said to Anna Rose in the other comment, we all remember how it feels to be that vulnerable young woman too scared to ask for help, so it’s about establishing that fierce love around other young women, however they may show up in our lives 🥰🥰
I love this Emma. I see lots of teen girls and young women in my therapy practice. It's such a tough time and I so want to rescue them from going through the mistakes that I made! Most importantly I want to teach young women to know their yeses from their nos and to know how to articulate them. Sounds like you are doing a fabulous job through these rollercoaster years ❤️
The work that you do is so meaningful and important, what a privilege to support young women at these critical life stages. I have so much respect and gratitude for what you do x
Wonderful writing, Emma. Reading this with tears flowing down my face. Your girls are so lucky to have you, and your love shines through. Isn't it wonderful when we can build these relationships with our youngsters, change the stories of our past, especially for those of us who didn't have mothers that were there for us
Changing the stories of our past - yes, beautifully put. I think that can be such a challenge for so many reasons. I was lucky to have very supportive parents, but still relatively strict Irish Catholic ones that I wouldn't necessarily have been ringing when I was in trouble!! Thank you for your lovely words xx
What an incredible piece … always so detailed in all the ups and downs that life brings on a daily basis - and so reassuring (you are like my own mother toddler support group for the teenage years 😜) thank you as always for sharing xxxx
Love you Abi!! And yes you guys are absolutely my teenage support network - thank God we found each other!! ❤️❤️❤️
Gorgeous piece. Thank you.
You are so welcome xxx
Oh my goodness. I want to hug you for putting all of this into these beautiful words. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have three boys, and the older two are 14 and 16. Even with not knowing what it is to have daughters (although I grew up with two sisters), all of this rings so very true. I have said so many times that I feel out of my depth in these years, that I'm not sure my heart can take much more worry while it bursts daily with love and pride for the young men coming into their own in my very kitchen over breakfast. And the timing of it...with all the challenges of midlife...it's a perfect storm some days. And others, when we're in sync and I can see glimpses of "this is how we're going to be," my heart aches at the beauty of it. Thank you so much for writing this.
Thank you for your beautiful response!! It is exactly that - the worry and the bursts of love and pride - whether it be boys and girls, they are our babies and they are becoming their own real selves which is utterly wonderful and terrifying. And yes it makes the heart ache at that beauty, I wonder if we will ever be able to sit back and relax enough to enjoy that wholly!! Much love x
"Why do I have arms?" 🤣 This made me lol! The feather.. oof! Goose bumps!! You write so beautifully ❤️ Off to subscribe! 👍
Haha I have never forgotten that one. Middle of the night 'mum!! Why do I have arms???'. FFS 🤣 and yes the feather moment still makes me shudder. Thank you so much, it's so lovely to connect with you xxx
Brilliant! 🤣 Yes, you too! 😊 xx
Oh my goodness, right there with you, beautifully written, love the analogies, bambi to Labrador puppy, so true, really loved this piece Emma ❤️
Thank you lovely - that's so kind of you ❤️
Fabulous, I’ll read properly again later but my head was nodding along. I have one almost 15 year old daughter, an almost 19 year old son and another soon to be 21 year old son. I said to a friend I bumped into yesterday that there’s been some heavy duty parenting going on recently. She smiled in recognition but we also both agreed that it’s pretty darn brilliant too. Talk about waking me up as a human being. I’m knackered because they keep me mentally & emotionally on my toes. All.The.Time 😂
Don't they just - and I agree, it is absolutely brilliant, but God it's exhausting in all sorts of ways!! Much love my friend xx
This truly filled my soul this morning while waiting for my daughter to return home tonight, from her Spring Break away. She too is on the cusp of discovery & becoming her own while I navigate the journey of just “being” in that space of unconditional love and support … Knowing the challenges that we will both face! Thank you so much for sharing your words, reflection and letter that showcases so much beauty and wisdom on that path 💗
Oh Lacey I know that feeling!!! Thank you for your beautiful response and for making me know I do have a support network, right here. It is not easy but we are not alone!! Much love xx
I loved reading this Emma - thanks to a share from Lindsay Johnstone. I have an 11 year old daughter on the cusp of going to secondary school and I'm always on the look out for those few brave adventurers who are a few years further ahead up the parenting mountain! I've always said it doesn't exactly get easier, it changes. The challenges of a sassy tween are of a different order from toddler meltdowns, but they are still meltdowns. My emotional download clinic is always busy too!
I'm so glad to have connected with you here. I honestly think we need to work out a new emotional download clinic booking system - there are no limits on accessibility right now 🤣. The parenting mountain - ain't that the truth. Much love x
Related so hard to this. My girls are a bit younger at 14 and 10, but I know much of this is is the post. Great piece ❤️❤️
Thank you. They are on the cusp of this beautiful phase...hold on to your hat!! Much love ❤️
Love this Emma, beautifully written! I’m navigating this stage with my daughter too, who just turned 18. These in-between years are so different to when they are young, but the worry level has been off the scale! Especially after Covid like you say, sitting in parks in the dark while I fretted at home! Though I remember doing the same and more at that age! 😬 Thanks for sharing, lovely photos too!
Literally sat at home last night fretting whilst my daughter was in a park in the dark!! And yes - I also remember doing the same and more at that age!! Thank you so much, it's a tricky but wonderful time! xx
I have to work hard to stop my mind conjuring the worst case scenario every time! 🙈 we just have to let them go 🕊️xx
Oh it is soooooo hard!!!
Such a beautiful read Emma. I am not a mother, but a mother of sorts as I help to raise my niece. She is 10 this year, and I’m already thinking about secondary school and who I want to be for her. I love that phrase you have used with your daughters and I may well steal it. Thank you for a lovely Sunday article xx
Thank you so much, and yes!! Steal away!! The auntie role is so important. My sister doesn’t have children which actually gives her an incredibly important and special role in her niece’s lives. She has an invaluable perspective that isn’t influenced by or distracted with ‘mothering’ herself and I’m grateful for that every day. We’ve had some really tricky times where she has stepped in as the ‘safe’ adult without them feeling parented and it has been so needed. I think that whether or not we have our own children, we have all been that vulnerable young woman, and it’s really about putting a circle of fierce love around other young women however and wherever they may show up in our lives. How lucky your niece is to have you ❤️
What a wonderful way to put it Emma ❤️
❤️❤️❤️
A beautiful read, Emma. Reading that made me wish my own parents had been more like you during the teenage years. They were (and still are with their grandkids) amazing at dealing with babies and toddlers but I think got a little bewildered when we all got to the teenage years.
The story about your daughter reminded me of when my sister was about 16 (she’s 6 years younger than me). I was at university in London at the time when I had a phone call from her at about 9pm telling me in an extremely garbled way that she needed my parents to pick her up from a party but was scared to tell them. I phoned my parents who were out for dinner somewhere and said “you need to go and pick her up NOW” when they were saying they’d finish their meal and then go. When they eventually got there they realised that she did need them and was in a mess. It was nice that she’d called me, but I was hundreds of miles away, so couldn’t go myself! Xx
Yes it’s exactly that situation I’m trying to prevent! When I was a teenager I would NEVER have called my parents when I was in a fix, but I would have called my sister (also 6 years older!!). As my girls grew into teenagers I wanted to try and instil that they could call me, that no matter what, I would make them safe. Like I said to Anna Rose in the other comment, we all remember how it feels to be that vulnerable young woman too scared to ask for help, so it’s about establishing that fierce love around other young women, however they may show up in our lives 🥰🥰