Gorgeous Emma. Understanding love languages has saved my relationship with my partner many times... we have very different love languages and learning to speak his (acts of service, touch) and to let go of the expectation he speaks mine (words) has been a game changer in understanding each other!
That sounds VERY familiar. My husband's are definitely different to mine, and like you say, letting go of the expectations that ours should be the same is hugely significant. It's scary how easy it can be to find ourselves in a cycle of feeling 'unloved' just because we don't show it in the same ways... all very interesting!! x
My family weren’t into hugs, but when our Dad took us to the ferry to go back to school he would give a curt instruction,, ‘Remember to write!’ Then he would turn away quickly before so we could see his tears. Then every Sunday night he’d write to us, always finishing ‘Your ever loving father’. I knew that every Tuesday morning there would a letter for me. He gave me unconditional positive regard. - the greatest gift.
Thanks Emma for sharing about the Korean baths. It’s a reminder that not only trauma is passed on in families through the generations, but togetherness too. Also that you can break the cycle like you have done with your daughters. I like the sound of being “smothered daily with verbal love.” My younger self relies on that even now. So I tell her “Well done. I love you.” as often as possible. My love language is words which is why I love Substack and journaling so much. ✍️💕✨ Second after that is physical touch. 🤗🤗
Oh I love that you give that to your younger self. That's wonderful. I think we can break the cycles in some ways - there is such a lot we carry but it is not all predetermined. I think that gifts is actually a big one for me so I'm planning to write something separately on that. Physical touch is one I can do but only with limited people!! Different languages for different relationships I guess? xx
Gorgeous Emma. Understanding love languages has saved my relationship with my partner many times... we have very different love languages and learning to speak his (acts of service, touch) and to let go of the expectation he speaks mine (words) has been a game changer in understanding each other!
Also - that festival sounds amazing 😀
That sounds VERY familiar. My husband's are definitely different to mine, and like you say, letting go of the expectations that ours should be the same is hugely significant. It's scary how easy it can be to find ourselves in a cycle of feeling 'unloved' just because we don't show it in the same ways... all very interesting!! x
Food is definitely a love language in my family too 💛
My family weren’t into hugs, but when our Dad took us to the ferry to go back to school he would give a curt instruction,, ‘Remember to write!’ Then he would turn away quickly before so we could see his tears. Then every Sunday night he’d write to us, always finishing ‘Your ever loving father’. I knew that every Tuesday morning there would a letter for me. He gave me unconditional positive regard. - the greatest gift.
Jeannie that is so touching. To write to you weekly and instil that unconditional knowledge - how wonderful. He sounds like a very special man ❤️
Glad you had such a good time! You deserve it.
thank you lovely - I did have to pay the price afterwards but it was worth it!! Much love x
Thanks Emma for sharing about the Korean baths. It’s a reminder that not only trauma is passed on in families through the generations, but togetherness too. Also that you can break the cycle like you have done with your daughters. I like the sound of being “smothered daily with verbal love.” My younger self relies on that even now. So I tell her “Well done. I love you.” as often as possible. My love language is words which is why I love Substack and journaling so much. ✍️💕✨ Second after that is physical touch. 🤗🤗
Oh I love that you give that to your younger self. That's wonderful. I think we can break the cycles in some ways - there is such a lot we carry but it is not all predetermined. I think that gifts is actually a big one for me so I'm planning to write something separately on that. Physical touch is one I can do but only with limited people!! Different languages for different relationships I guess? xx
Oh I’d be interested to read about gifts. I’ll keep an eye out. I’ve read about self-love languages too.
👍🏼☺️❤️🍋🍋
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