Lovely, Em. Said from the perspective of an 80 yo, we continue to develop as a result of the interplay between our aspirations/intentions/plans and life's challenges. And the challenges never stop coming. My former clients used to hear me tell them that and I continue to say it because I believe it's true.
You have a lot on your plate. The resilience you show is your not-so-secret power. Onward.
Thank you Frances ❤️❤️. Thank you for reading, for understanding, for caring. I love that you call me Em, my friends call me Em 🥰. The challenges will always come indeed, and your perspective, as always, is golden xx
Love this Em 🥰 Another fantastic post.. writing from the heart with honesty, rawness and humour 👍 Absolutely LOVE the photo of you in the rain 🌧💛 P.s. the list of stuff you wanted to do in ONE week.. far too long! It would take me at least a month to even come close to achieving what you have.. go easy on yourself 😊 Oh, and one more thing... what’s the time? 😂
Thank you lovely 🥰 and thank you for the reality check on the expectations I place on my time... ok I need to SLOW down!!! I pray for that day...but you are inspiring me to make it happen. And as for the time? Well for you I would answer 🤣❤️
Oh I love this - the always available, the quiet (but not quiet because of how we are 🤣), I feel this in every way. I love how you have the noise back, it is so full of warmth and joy. I know I will miss it desperately when they don't call me ten times a day - thank you for reinforcing the reminder to appreciate it when I'm still in it!! 🥰
Weirdly Friday me and a friend had a rant about our husbands doing this. I believe it’s the mental load, yes we do know the answers to that but you should too (or at least search it out yourself).
We’re also both adhd, for me I don’t want anymore tabs open. Especially if I’m hyper focusing on something because I’m having a nice time that they keep distracting me from.
Oh yes it’s the mental load indeed. Something my friends and I also rant a lot about!! I also present in many ways as ADD although as yet undiagnosed, and it’s exactly that… when I am in ‘hyper focus’, the interactions are so deeply disruptive. I put my headphones on in our communal spaces to indicate ‘I’m in another room’ i.e. I’m working please don’t speak to me but that seems to go unnoticed...
We’re not officially diagnosed either (you can’t get a diagnosis as an adult in Spain, or at least it’s incredibly difficult if possible). I like the headphone idea, although I know my husband wouldn’t understand that, but if they were noise cancelling I wouldn’t know 😆😆😆
Haha Emma, can relate a lot to this! The assumption and taken for grantedness of our availability is another level! Decluttering, painting, raining, watching race across the world - all happening here too less than a mile away from you!!
I’m currently watching the rain while lying on my book cluttered bed, my plan was to rest a sore back and read. The book is open next to me, I’m scrolling Substack. Telling myself to try and salvage a piece of writing I should have published on Friday, but now my timing is off because life got interrupted…thinking I will just shelve the piece rather than try to edit and make the wrong timing irrelevant 🤦🏻♀️
Aah the book cluttered bed…yes I have one of those. Perhaps allow yourself to shelve the piece, listen to the rain, rest, maybe read later…maybe not. Escape from the knowing everything. I’m right with you ❤️
Love this post so much and oh my god do I feel your ~ if you know the answer why can’t I just ask you ~ pain! It’s because we are not encyclopaedias & if they bothered to pay attention they would also know these things or where to find them (like their phone) and wouldn’t have to waste your time by asking you. 🤯
It never stops. They are insatiable and no matter how much we do they are insatiable. Its hard to hold the family like this. I was feeling like this for weeks. Then on 1 May i had pneumonia and I really thought I might die and all I wanted was my messy imperfect life back. You are doing amazing. You are a person. You are not a Bayamax. And i love Tea can't wait to hear more about that in your own time.
Loved reading this, it sounded like the week I set up for myself the other week. Only the sun came out (I chose to enjoy it) and then I got ill (but I’m glad I’m brown) and so still none of it’s been done (yet).
Bank holidays used to be a thing for me and now they’re not a thing. I still ran my healing through writing circle this morning and I’m still in my pjs at 5pm! It’s a full rest day for me today after being not so well for the last week.
P.s. I went to welcome a client who came to overnight retreat with me on Friday…stood under the barrier that was up and got twatted in the head by it on its way back down. Reminded me of a really bad (cupboard) bang to my head the other year and how I really look forward to the day that this actually hurts like it would a normal person (because I’m used to much higher levels of head pain).
Maybe this week there will be flow and we’ll get all our intended work done🤞🤞
Lovely, Em. Said from the perspective of an 80 yo, we continue to develop as a result of the interplay between our aspirations/intentions/plans and life's challenges. And the challenges never stop coming. My former clients used to hear me tell them that and I continue to say it because I believe it's true.
You have a lot on your plate. The resilience you show is your not-so-secret power. Onward.
xx
Thank you Frances ❤️❤️. Thank you for reading, for understanding, for caring. I love that you call me Em, my friends call me Em 🥰. The challenges will always come indeed, and your perspective, as always, is golden xx
And you have done it again - what a fabulous piece of writing. So glad you have found some peace today - you gorgeous lady 😍
aaw thank you, happy Bank Holiday weekend!! ❤️
Love this Em 🥰 Another fantastic post.. writing from the heart with honesty, rawness and humour 👍 Absolutely LOVE the photo of you in the rain 🌧💛 P.s. the list of stuff you wanted to do in ONE week.. far too long! It would take me at least a month to even come close to achieving what you have.. go easy on yourself 😊 Oh, and one more thing... what’s the time? 😂
Thank you lovely 🥰 and thank you for the reality check on the expectations I place on my time... ok I need to SLOW down!!! I pray for that day...but you are inspiring me to make it happen. And as for the time? Well for you I would answer 🤣❤️
I am supposed to be getting ready for work here in Oz on this Monday morning (no public hol here!), but your writing grabbed me!
I remember that feeling, and sometimes it’s still a “thing” for me - the always available thing. Actually not “still” but “again”.
Comes a day when the kids all move out and the phone and the house are quiet.
Unbearably quiet and you miss the chaos (although we’re all ADHDers and our chaos hangs around us like a cloud 😂).
For 10 years or so, when my 4 kids were all over the world of living in different parts of this huge country my phone was silent for days.
And then they all hooked up with partners, 3 of the 4 of them moved back close-by and I have 6 grandkids.
The phone line is reactivated - meals / kid-sitting / dog-sitting / cryptic questions.
And my thinking is re-set. I dont mind a bit 😂.
Oh I love this - the always available, the quiet (but not quiet because of how we are 🤣), I feel this in every way. I love how you have the noise back, it is so full of warmth and joy. I know I will miss it desperately when they don't call me ten times a day - thank you for reinforcing the reminder to appreciate it when I'm still in it!! 🥰
❤️🤗
Weirdly Friday me and a friend had a rant about our husbands doing this. I believe it’s the mental load, yes we do know the answers to that but you should too (or at least search it out yourself).
We’re also both adhd, for me I don’t want anymore tabs open. Especially if I’m hyper focusing on something because I’m having a nice time that they keep distracting me from.
Oh yes it’s the mental load indeed. Something my friends and I also rant a lot about!! I also present in many ways as ADD although as yet undiagnosed, and it’s exactly that… when I am in ‘hyper focus’, the interactions are so deeply disruptive. I put my headphones on in our communal spaces to indicate ‘I’m in another room’ i.e. I’m working please don’t speak to me but that seems to go unnoticed...
We’re not officially diagnosed either (you can’t get a diagnosis as an adult in Spain, or at least it’s incredibly difficult if possible). I like the headphone idea, although I know my husband wouldn’t understand that, but if they were noise cancelling I wouldn’t know 😆😆😆
Haha yes I have noise cancelling!! I can still hear the outside world faintly but I can pretty much zone that out 🤣
😆😆😆
Haha Emma, can relate a lot to this! The assumption and taken for grantedness of our availability is another level! Decluttering, painting, raining, watching race across the world - all happening here too less than a mile away from you!!
Must be something in the water 🤪. Seriously though…never lets up!! Loving RAtW ❤️❤️
I’m currently watching the rain while lying on my book cluttered bed, my plan was to rest a sore back and read. The book is open next to me, I’m scrolling Substack. Telling myself to try and salvage a piece of writing I should have published on Friday, but now my timing is off because life got interrupted…thinking I will just shelve the piece rather than try to edit and make the wrong timing irrelevant 🤦🏻♀️
I also would like to not have to know everything…
Aah the book cluttered bed…yes I have one of those. Perhaps allow yourself to shelve the piece, listen to the rain, rest, maybe read later…maybe not. Escape from the knowing everything. I’m right with you ❤️
Ohhhh I felt this ❤️ wishing you peace and a wee slice of silence for as long as you need it.
Thank you. And me you ❤️❤️
Wow. Thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I loved every single moment of this
Aah thank you - I really appreciate your comment 😍
Love this post so much and oh my god do I feel your ~ if you know the answer why can’t I just ask you ~ pain! It’s because we are not encyclopaedias & if they bothered to pay attention they would also know these things or where to find them (like their phone) and wouldn’t have to waste your time by asking you. 🤯
YES Han!!!! Yes yes yes!! I have a feeling it's not going to change any time soon.....🤣
It never stops. They are insatiable and no matter how much we do they are insatiable. Its hard to hold the family like this. I was feeling like this for weeks. Then on 1 May i had pneumonia and I really thought I might die and all I wanted was my messy imperfect life back. You are doing amazing. You are a person. You are not a Bayamax. And i love Tea can't wait to hear more about that in your own time.
Loved reading this, it sounded like the week I set up for myself the other week. Only the sun came out (I chose to enjoy it) and then I got ill (but I’m glad I’m brown) and so still none of it’s been done (yet).
Bank holidays used to be a thing for me and now they’re not a thing. I still ran my healing through writing circle this morning and I’m still in my pjs at 5pm! It’s a full rest day for me today after being not so well for the last week.
P.s. I went to welcome a client who came to overnight retreat with me on Friday…stood under the barrier that was up and got twatted in the head by it on its way back down. Reminded me of a really bad (cupboard) bang to my head the other year and how I really look forward to the day that this actually hurts like it would a normal person (because I’m used to much higher levels of head pain).
Maybe this week there will be flow and we’ll get all our intended work done🤞🤞
Oh ouch for the head bump!!! Yes let's hope for our flow this week, and I'm so glad you have got some rest today xxx
SO MANY TRUTHS IN THIS POST!!!!!!
🙏😍
Aaw thank you my lovely new friend 🫶. I’m so glad we met and wish you a recovery to full strength as soon as possible ❤️