Thanks so much for sharing what you’ve been going through, and wow does it sound like a lot! Being the person holding space for other people’s feelings is a gift, but the gift can be heavy at times, so remember to take care of yourself where you can.
I’m quite new to substack but what I’ve found is that the “shoulds” we’re so used don’t really live here. I love that the writers I read take their time, they post when it works for them and their lives, their frequency waxes and wanes with the pressures of life - and it’s all ok. We’re all still here for you. ❤️
I love that - a heavy gift - that is so beautiful and true. I think you're right in that the 'shoulds' don't really live here. It's an incredibly generous and like minded community, thank you for your lovely comment 🫶
Gosh that all sounds intense. I think it's OK for our presence here to wax and wane a little. It's human and unavoidable, and I think readers are much more forgiving than we imagine (not to mention, often distracted with other things and hardly noticing).... at least that's what I told myself when I disappeared offline completely for a month in June!
Hi Em, I know you have a family life, a book launch life, an in-person women's group life you've recently began, plus much I don't know about. Your substack is only one piece of the pie and I'm certain your subscribers are understanding of this.
Thank you lovely Frances, we all have so many pieces of pie that others don't see. I do love the aspects I wrote about, it brings such a lot of meaning, I guess I just need to be kinder about letting the other things slip. I'm already wondering what my in person women's group is 🤣
I love how you seem to be sharing exactly what people need to hear and be seen Emma. I guess that's the point isn't it? I have been exactly the same, kinda here, kinda not. Wanting to be seen, wanting to hide. Sharing the really vulnerable bits thinking they don't matter, cringing as I press post to find that they are the bits that resonate the most. It's an interesting time for sure, but I give myself permission to let it be xx
Thanks so much Louise, that’s so lovely to hear as that’s really at the heart of why I write. The deepest connections always seem to come in sharing the vulnerability, but that’s certainly not always a comfortable place and that’s ok too. I sometimes hold back because I know it’s not right for me at that moment… and sometimes I just need to lie low. But then to resurface and connect like this is what makes it so special x
Hey Emma, come and sit on my sofa if yours is getting a bit overwhelming. That's a lot of pieces on the Jenga tower getting wobbly so it's okay to feel the wobble and if needed let them go. I saw your post on the Sparkle chat and knew exactly how you were feeling, as I was there myself in the first part of year. I didn't post at all here for over 6months. But I just had to keep looking forward after what had necessitated my absence. So just I got on with posting when I could, engaging in nice ways, with nice people on the lovely communities we have here, being open and sharing my world. My Jenga tower isn't rebuilt but it's a lot stronger and has more pieces now. To use another analogy relevant to us swimmers - just keep getting in the sea (though not today, it's exceedingly wild in Brighton today!) sending salty love.
Aah I love this - and yes my Jenga tower has a few pieces missing but it is still standing!! I went for a lake swim today, it was wild indeed, I can only imagine how the sea was!! Thank you, it's so comforting and encouraging to hear your words. We all need to wobble and know that it's ok. Sending much love ❤️
And I thought the last couple of weeks have been intense in my world. Thank you for being honest about the reality of keeping all the plates spinning - I have a lot to learn from that
Hi Emma. Meant to reply to this last night, but life happened. Which goes to show, I guess. I think the point of opting out of the corporate, is entirely the point. We don’t have the same level of deadlines, deliverables, targets (whatever the latest nonsense way of putting it is - it’s been 10 years). We have real life, and we are able to actually do the things we should and need to do.
Do we always get the balance right? Certainly not, because it gets choppy sometimes. But we certainly do batten down the hatches and focus on the core demands and needs. Feels like that’s what you have done and maybe will be continuing to do. All love and best wishes particularly with mum. Have been there. Always here if you need a friendly ear. M x
Thanks lovely, I think I'm still in the process of shedding the corporate 'shoulds', although I'm getting there! This level of autonomy does take some getting used to doesn't it? x
Hi Emma! The old “never rains but it pours” scenario 😅. Such is life it seems.
Well done you for doing the things that needed doing and letting go of the rest for a while. Prioritising.
I hope you get some chill-out time soon. So sorry to read of the death of your daughter’s young friend. It stops you in your tracks and makes you hug your kids tighter I reckon. Similar happened when one of my sons was 16 😭. They had a big assembly at the school and planted a rose for the girl who died.
Yeah, you were missed - but in a good way. I enjoy your presence here! I have a very similar list to you of things I have subscribed to and haven’t actioned yet.
I never notice how frequently writers post, it always feels more like a bonus to receive a post from one of my faves - so i didn’t notice you were gone but in a good way!💛
I haven’t written a Warrior Weekly in months. I’ve had a couple of really long breaks. Claire Venus had to resurrect me from one of them😆😂
I take 2 months off in Jan/feb where I give myself permission to write as little as I want. Maybe did one every other week or 3 early this year.
We make up our own rules here. Surely that’s one of the bonuses 🤷🏼♀️💜
yes and I must remember that - it is the bonus of being in this community, on our own terms. It's still hard to shed the old mindset sometimes though isn't it. The hangover of 20 years working in an environment of expectation, consistency and delivery!! Thank you lovely friend ❤️
Absolutely. And I may not be the best advice giver - given that my audience is still small.
Though one thing I am proud of myself for is staying true to my own agenda. It was to show up and write. With the intention of writing books. And look what’s manifesting📚
Plus all the research I’ve done alongside - masses. I’m comfortable with the fact that I can’t do everything. I know what my priorities are and I stay in alignment with those. Best I can!
Same re the corporate world. Up until recently Emma, I’ve been dreaming of my last job still. It’s as though energetically, my body still felt I was very much there. And it was toxic as hell. It’s the longest hangover I’ve ever had😆
Love this piece Emma. I have a tendency to go quiet when times are hard, but I'm trying to remember it's ok to stick my head above the parapet in some small way even when my world feels crazy, or when I haven't got time or space to craft a whole perfectly polished article. wishing you a more peaceful month ahead.
What a huge emotional rollercoaster you're on right now. I'll offer you the words that I'm so useless at offering myself. Take your time, we're here and we're not going anywhere.
Thanks lovely, then in the back of my mind I'm like 'I want to meet up with Hannah!!!'... I do actually thrive as a kind of caregiver, it just takes away from other things but that's ok... ❤️
It seems to me that you have been handling a fair share of very emotional events which took priority over keeping up with keeping up. Feel proud of yourself for having handled being the "support system" for your loved ones and hopefully we (and I only play a very small part) can offer you the reassurance that you need, you are doing ok kiddo 😉
I certainly missed you and your update on Baku was very welcome. I’ve not been on Substack much recently and I could not sign up for all those activities, never mind taking part! Main reasons are 1. I’m taking an MLitt full time with Glasgow Uni and 2. I’ve been to a wonderful writers retreat in Spain!
Emma, I read this in bed last night and related hard to everything you said (though the level of chaos and weight is beyond me!!)
Re "very single facet of your life, and the spinning plates start to fly off in all directions," you've reminded me of this past summer, when we were in and out of town with various commitments, trips, get togethers, etc for about 6 weeks and I thought I had miraculously stayed on top of it all only to forget my kids at sleepaway camp!!
Or, let me correct: I hadn't forgotten them so much as just getting the pick up date wrong, from the very beginning, when signing them up and then giving my husband the go ahead to book us a little get away at the same time... Cue M and I, driving home on a Saturday from our cabin in the woods, thinking we still have a day to go, only to get a call from an unknown number and find my kid on the other end saying "Mama, where are you? It's pick up today, not tomorrow."
I have never been more mortified - the plates were definitely careening off in every direction... Luckily we had friends with kids at the same camp who stepped in and brought them home, where we had arrived about 40 minutes before them, coming from the opposite direction.
Sending you so much love and peace and a hope for some rest.
Thanks so much for sharing what you’ve been going through, and wow does it sound like a lot! Being the person holding space for other people’s feelings is a gift, but the gift can be heavy at times, so remember to take care of yourself where you can.
I’m quite new to substack but what I’ve found is that the “shoulds” we’re so used don’t really live here. I love that the writers I read take their time, they post when it works for them and their lives, their frequency waxes and wanes with the pressures of life - and it’s all ok. We’re all still here for you. ❤️
I love that - a heavy gift - that is so beautiful and true. I think you're right in that the 'shoulds' don't really live here. It's an incredibly generous and like minded community, thank you for your lovely comment 🫶
Gosh that all sounds intense. I think it's OK for our presence here to wax and wane a little. It's human and unavoidable, and I think readers are much more forgiving than we imagine (not to mention, often distracted with other things and hardly noticing).... at least that's what I told myself when I disappeared offline completely for a month in June!
Yes I think you're so right - and readers are all of those things!! Why are we always so hard on ourselves?! x
Hi Em, I know you have a family life, a book launch life, an in-person women's group life you've recently began, plus much I don't know about. Your substack is only one piece of the pie and I'm certain your subscribers are understanding of this.
Sending you love xxx
Thank you lovely Frances, we all have so many pieces of pie that others don't see. I do love the aspects I wrote about, it brings such a lot of meaning, I guess I just need to be kinder about letting the other things slip. I'm already wondering what my in person women's group is 🤣
Much love back to you x
I love how you seem to be sharing exactly what people need to hear and be seen Emma. I guess that's the point isn't it? I have been exactly the same, kinda here, kinda not. Wanting to be seen, wanting to hide. Sharing the really vulnerable bits thinking they don't matter, cringing as I press post to find that they are the bits that resonate the most. It's an interesting time for sure, but I give myself permission to let it be xx
Thanks so much Louise, that’s so lovely to hear as that’s really at the heart of why I write. The deepest connections always seem to come in sharing the vulnerability, but that’s certainly not always a comfortable place and that’s ok too. I sometimes hold back because I know it’s not right for me at that moment… and sometimes I just need to lie low. But then to resurface and connect like this is what makes it so special x
The ebb and flow Emma, that’s just beautiful x
❤️❤️
Hey Emma, come and sit on my sofa if yours is getting a bit overwhelming. That's a lot of pieces on the Jenga tower getting wobbly so it's okay to feel the wobble and if needed let them go. I saw your post on the Sparkle chat and knew exactly how you were feeling, as I was there myself in the first part of year. I didn't post at all here for over 6months. But I just had to keep looking forward after what had necessitated my absence. So just I got on with posting when I could, engaging in nice ways, with nice people on the lovely communities we have here, being open and sharing my world. My Jenga tower isn't rebuilt but it's a lot stronger and has more pieces now. To use another analogy relevant to us swimmers - just keep getting in the sea (though not today, it's exceedingly wild in Brighton today!) sending salty love.
Aah I love this - and yes my Jenga tower has a few pieces missing but it is still standing!! I went for a lake swim today, it was wild indeed, I can only imagine how the sea was!! Thank you, it's so comforting and encouraging to hear your words. We all need to wobble and know that it's ok. Sending much love ❤️
And I thought the last couple of weeks have been intense in my world. Thank you for being honest about the reality of keeping all the plates spinning - I have a lot to learn from that
Ah thank you for your lovely comment ❤️
Hi Emma. Meant to reply to this last night, but life happened. Which goes to show, I guess. I think the point of opting out of the corporate, is entirely the point. We don’t have the same level of deadlines, deliverables, targets (whatever the latest nonsense way of putting it is - it’s been 10 years). We have real life, and we are able to actually do the things we should and need to do.
Do we always get the balance right? Certainly not, because it gets choppy sometimes. But we certainly do batten down the hatches and focus on the core demands and needs. Feels like that’s what you have done and maybe will be continuing to do. All love and best wishes particularly with mum. Have been there. Always here if you need a friendly ear. M x
Thanks lovely, I think I'm still in the process of shedding the corporate 'shoulds', although I'm getting there! This level of autonomy does take some getting used to doesn't it? x
Hi Emma! The old “never rains but it pours” scenario 😅. Such is life it seems.
Well done you for doing the things that needed doing and letting go of the rest for a while. Prioritising.
I hope you get some chill-out time soon. So sorry to read of the death of your daughter’s young friend. It stops you in your tracks and makes you hug your kids tighter I reckon. Similar happened when one of my sons was 16 😭. They had a big assembly at the school and planted a rose for the girl who died.
Yeah, you were missed - but in a good way. I enjoy your presence here! I have a very similar list to you of things I have subscribed to and haven’t actioned yet.
C’est la vie!
🤗 to you. Take your time. ❤️🌻
I never notice how frequently writers post, it always feels more like a bonus to receive a post from one of my faves - so i didn’t notice you were gone but in a good way!💛
I haven’t written a Warrior Weekly in months. I’ve had a couple of really long breaks. Claire Venus had to resurrect me from one of them😆😂
I take 2 months off in Jan/feb where I give myself permission to write as little as I want. Maybe did one every other week or 3 early this year.
We make up our own rules here. Surely that’s one of the bonuses 🤷🏼♀️💜
yes and I must remember that - it is the bonus of being in this community, on our own terms. It's still hard to shed the old mindset sometimes though isn't it. The hangover of 20 years working in an environment of expectation, consistency and delivery!! Thank you lovely friend ❤️
Absolutely. And I may not be the best advice giver - given that my audience is still small.
Though one thing I am proud of myself for is staying true to my own agenda. It was to show up and write. With the intention of writing books. And look what’s manifesting📚
Plus all the research I’ve done alongside - masses. I’m comfortable with the fact that I can’t do everything. I know what my priorities are and I stay in alignment with those. Best I can!
Same re the corporate world. Up until recently Emma, I’ve been dreaming of my last job still. It’s as though energetically, my body still felt I was very much there. And it was toxic as hell. It’s the longest hangover I’ve ever had😆
Love this piece Emma. I have a tendency to go quiet when times are hard, but I'm trying to remember it's ok to stick my head above the parapet in some small way even when my world feels crazy, or when I haven't got time or space to craft a whole perfectly polished article. wishing you a more peaceful month ahead.
Yes I think that’s it - keeping the connection without always striving for perfection ❤️. Thank you for your kindness and encouragement 🫶
What a huge emotional rollercoaster you're on right now. I'll offer you the words that I'm so useless at offering myself. Take your time, we're here and we're not going anywhere.
😘😘😘
Oh Emma, this sounds like a lot. Sending lots of love and hope things get a little calmer soon. Xx
Thanks lovely, then in the back of my mind I'm like 'I want to meet up with Hannah!!!'... I do actually thrive as a kind of caregiver, it just takes away from other things but that's ok... ❤️
I’d love to catch up when you’re able but there’s no pressure or rush at all x
Me too ❤️❤️. Head is now above water, will DM you 😍
Life has a habit of lifeing.
It seems to me that you have been handling a fair share of very emotional events which took priority over keeping up with keeping up. Feel proud of yourself for having handled being the "support system" for your loved ones and hopefully we (and I only play a very small part) can offer you the reassurance that you need, you are doing ok kiddo 😉
It does have a habit of lifeing! Love that. Oh and you are not a very small part at all, comments like this mean the world. Thank you, you’re ace 🫶
I certainly missed you and your update on Baku was very welcome. I’ve not been on Substack much recently and I could not sign up for all those activities, never mind taking part! Main reasons are 1. I’m taking an MLitt full time with Glasgow Uni and 2. I’ve been to a wonderful writers retreat in Spain!
Emma, I read this in bed last night and related hard to everything you said (though the level of chaos and weight is beyond me!!)
Re "very single facet of your life, and the spinning plates start to fly off in all directions," you've reminded me of this past summer, when we were in and out of town with various commitments, trips, get togethers, etc for about 6 weeks and I thought I had miraculously stayed on top of it all only to forget my kids at sleepaway camp!!
Or, let me correct: I hadn't forgotten them so much as just getting the pick up date wrong, from the very beginning, when signing them up and then giving my husband the go ahead to book us a little get away at the same time... Cue M and I, driving home on a Saturday from our cabin in the woods, thinking we still have a day to go, only to get a call from an unknown number and find my kid on the other end saying "Mama, where are you? It's pick up today, not tomorrow."
I have never been more mortified - the plates were definitely careening off in every direction... Luckily we had friends with kids at the same camp who stepped in and brought them home, where we had arrived about 40 minutes before them, coming from the opposite direction.
Sending you so much love and peace and a hope for some rest.