I'm so flipping excited...
It's time for sex!!
Now that got your attention - and it’s not just a cheap clickbait trick (well not entirely). Bear with me dear reader...
So what’s making me sparkle today?
When I got up this morning to join my twice weekly writing hour with the brilliant
Club, I had planned to finish writing about my week at ‘Juicy Mountain’ and get that piece out there, but then I stepped outside with my tea, felt the air and my head began buzzing with the joy of this time of year.I know it can be a challenging time for many as the nights begin to draw in (although it’s 24 degrees today?!?), however I do love the change in the air, the different smells, the crackle of what’s to come. Primarily for me though, it’s all about the water. The giddy summer water temperatures have passed, as have the giddy summer crowds. Whilst dipping in the lake on a hot day is undoubtedly glorious, it is so very different from the experience that is close to my heart - COLD water swimming. Sometimes not even swimming, perhaps just a dip, but it really is all about the cold.
In praise of slow
I’m not about to go all ‘Wim Hof’ here, I have my own views on his methods. Suffice it to say I didn’t even watch the ‘celebrity’ programme with a load of eejits running and jumping into icy water - that is NOT my way (and is potentially very dangerous). One of the truly beautiful things I find in cold water is the slowing of time. The calm nature of the process, the thoughtfulness, and the ritual that accompanies it.
In the summertime, it’s great to grab a pair of flip flops and head out in just a sundress, but this morning I felt delighted as I packed my ‘winter’ swim bag once more.
fluffy onesie (think giant babygro)
woolly hat x several
swim hats and goggles
swim boots and gloves (not in use just yet but soon)
body warmer
fluffy socks
‘Ugg’ type boots
tea flask
warm gloves
hot water bottle
dryrobe/fleece equivalent
Did someone say hygge?
The ritual starts in the preparation. It is not a ‘grab & go’ operation, not if you want to stay safe and well as the temperatures plummet. Thinking through all of the above items - what you will wear in the water - head up or head down? Wetsuit or not? What hot drink? How many hot water bottles?
I don’t wear a wetsuit, but that is not because of any bravado. I used to wear a wetsuit, but during lockdown when we were unable to access manned lakes and ended up swimming in our pairs in the local river, getting in and out of a wetsuit on the river bank was simply too much hassle. I ditched it in January 2021 and have never looked back. It brings me the maximum bodily contact with the water, making me feel alive in a unique way, but it is such an individual choice. There’s no shame in being dressed head to toe in rubber in this context (just perhaps leave the ping pong ball at home).
I also eat before I go in the water in winter, no matter how early. When the water temperatures sink below 12 degrees, I know how my body reacts. I know I need to wear neoprene boots and gloves otherwise my feet and hands get too painful, and I know I need to eat first. As my body goes into survival mode - it needs fuel.
More importantly, however, is what I have for when I get out of the water.
[Note: I am not an open water swim coach so this is not ‘trained’ advice - this is what I do, and if you’re new to cold water swimming it is IMPERATIVE you have some guidance/training from a qualified coach. Phew - litigation abated. You can take the girl out of the safety regulator...]
For me, it is the comfort of my onesie, the fluffy socks and boots, layers, scarves, and a glorious woolly hat as I dress like a defrosted snowman sans carrot. Flask of tea grasped by gloved fingers as I shiver/dance round the firepit to keep the blood flowing and gently warm up. Even this part is slow. I make sure I’m not rushing to a meeting. There is no jumping into a hot shower - I don’t even let myself have a shower until my feet have defrosted (which can take a couple of hours) lest I pass out - my feet are my indicator of how my body temperature is doing.
I imagine at this moment, many of you will be thinking - eh? Feet defrosting? Passing out? What the fuck are you talking about woman? Why, why, WHY would you do this? And...
What’s all this got to do with sex?
Well...
In this excerpt from my book Breaking Waves, I describe the feeling the cold water brings me:
When I plunge into the cold, my mind contracts to a razor-sharp pinpoint. Demons are vanquished as I become witness to my body’s autonomic function – the gasps, the contractions and release, every receptor stimulated, flashes of cold crackling through my limbs. In that moment I’m back wearing an intensified air traffic headset – there’s no room for anything else in that moment, just pure focus, and breath.
My voice enters unchartered territory, from the initial high-pitched ‘fuckety fuck fuck! it’s freezing!’ song I sing as I start to make my way in, to the alarming guttural noise and breathy groans I expel upon submerging my chest. My body responds involuntarily with my lizard brain telling me to scream and run away. In those moments I am exposed and raw, often fleetingly wondering if I make the same primal sounds during sex and therefore how many people have heard that side of me...
Sharing the experience of ice swimming with another human is a curiously intimate and connecting moment; from the trepidatious adrenaline-spiked entry to the overwhelming bodily sensation of a thousand tiny pinpricks as pain subsides into pleasure, to the post-event dopamine fuelled euphoria.
The post-coital cigarette reincarnated in the ritual zipping of each other’s dryrobes [other brands available] whilst sharing hot tea and pressing jelly cubes through chattering teeth. There’s always a healthy amount of flesh on show as getting stripped of wet gear and wrapped in a warm dry fleece takes precedence over preserving dignity.
It’s as powerful as sex.
It’s electric, sensory, naked, exhilarating, nerve wracking, funny, unpredictable, messy, exciting. Clothes go missing. Knowing looks are exchanged. Time slows down. Never has five minutes felt so beautifully expanded as when in near-freezing water. Every second is a whole body and mind experience. Anyone for tantric?
It really is primal, but also utterly joyful. It’s great alone but better with friends 😜 and I do it three times a week, and sometimes twice at the weekend wahaay! No wonder I’m always smiling.
At the Women’s Moon Circles I attend, we are invited into the water naked, allowing the cold water to refresh the parts other beers cannot reach. I write about these here, and they are a truly magical experience. (Don’t worry boys - the men get their opportunity too at a ‘Fire Circle’ although I can’t speak for the cold water effect on those parts 🥶)
Connection
The main thing is all about connection. Cold water enables you to connect and understand your own body in a unique way, to connect with others who share the experience, and to connect deeply with the environment as it presents on any given day - snow, frost, mist, rain, sun. Today it was 16 degrees, which is still pretty warm, and beautifully sunny on the shore, but I felt that first flush of cold: the breath holding upon entry, (don’t hold your breath, kids), the adrenaline rush, the flood of happy hormones.
Right now I cannot imagine how I’ll get back to swimming in waters of 2 or 3 degrees, but I know I will, and I’ll love every second.
And as for equating it to sex? Well we’ve all had a dodgy shag or two in our lives, but I’ve yet to have a bad cold water swim.
Make your own mind up.
Do you love the cold water? If so, what does it bring you?
Do you think this is utter madness?
I’d love to hear your thoughts,
Love & lemons 🍋
Em x
Love your enthusiasm for it all Emma!! Truly infectious!! ✨🙏
I dabble in a bit of cool water but I feel like I’m dipping in luke warm tea in comparison to you... Especially since I live in the south of Spain, getting hold of cold water most the year is hard as it runs warm out of the taps. I digress, a very interesting read thank you!