Friday Dip - a story of quiet rebellion
Thoughts to wash over you for the weekend
Except it’s Saturday...
It’s the small things
Well I think my first quiet rebellion constitutes publishing my Friday Dip on a Saturday. I intended to do it yesterday, but as my husband was on a rare day off and the kids were out celebrating the ‘schools out’ madness, we decided to bugger off to the cinema to see Oppenheimer - IN THE AFTERNOON!On a midweek day?!?!?
It felt so decadent! But why...?
[Brilliant film btw - a ‘must see’. Cillian Murphy is outstanding, and it is exceptionally thought provoking on what is possibly the biggest human moral dilemma of all time].
‘Should’ I? I don’t think so
I started thinking about quiet rebellion a few weeks ago when I came across this lake whilst out on a walk - my swim gear is always on hand just in case a puddle arises. The sign indicated that swimming was permitted, (safety first from the former air traffic controller 🤣) albeit at own risk. Normally I swim at life-guarded lakes, and for some reason we always have to swim anti-clockwise. There are time slots, rules of conduct, everything you would rightly expect. Yet here I was presented with a body of water, and just me. Stepping into an unknown pond with no one around felt delightfully rebellious in itself. It wasn’t part of the plan!
As I entered the water, noticing it was much further from the jetty to the lake bed than anticipated and wondering how the fuck I was going to get out again with my minimal upper body strength, I realised I could swim any way I wanted. My rule abiding brain had the expectation of swimming anti clockwise, so I immediately swam around it clockwise. Ha! Because I could. And then I floated and swam in figures of eight, and didn’t watch the clock, and got out when I wanted to.
I say ‘got out’ but what actually ensued was the most ungainly exit from water I think I’ve ever done as I hauled myself up using the reeds, and belly rolled onto the platform coating myself in dried bird poo in the process.
Once I had managed some semblance of cleaning myself and removing wet gear, I lay down on the decking in my towel and dried off under the sun.
When it came to getting dressed I began my usual ‘under the towel’ trick of contorting my body and trying to get dressed without exposing any flesh, and then thought ‘what am I doing?!? There’s nobody here!’ So I flung the towel aside and sat there on the jetty, tits to the wind, feeling wild and mischievous and free.
When I got dressed, I shoved my bra in my bag, wanting the feel of my soft clothes next to my skin just like I had felt the sensation of the water, without the restrictions of societally imposed clothing norms. It all felt so quietly rebellious. A series of tiny little actions that brought me impish delight:
taking a day to myself,
entering a pond alone,
swimming the ‘wrong’ way round,
sitting tits to the wind.
underwear in the bag.
Away from the ‘should’s:
I should be working in the day,
I should be swimming anti-clockwise,
I should be wearing a bra.
Sod that.
Just for me
As someone who grew up very classically ‘well behaved’ in accordance with western expectations, I absolutely revel in my quiet rebellions. I like rebellions in more obvious ways as well, but this is about the ones that I hold just for me. Like writing the words ‘tits’ in this article without replacing one of the letters with an ‘*’, refusing to confine said tits to their silken (who am I kidding, cotton) prison, stopping work at lunchtime and going to the cinema, each event igniting a spark of glorious mischief.
Rebellions that don’t impact others, that do no harm, but are tiny acts of defiance, bringing me an internal flash of knowing naughtiness and glee. A feeling of decadence, like the holding of a delicious secret.
Secrets to be shared with just our own selves. A quiet rebellion for one.
Opportunities present themselves everywhere, and it is joyful. Wondering when the word ‘should’ pops in, about what might happen if you ‘don’t’...and maybe giving it a try.
I’d love to hear about yours.
Love & lemons 🍋💕
Em x
One of my favourite mini-rebellions is a nudie swim when noone is around - the delightful sensation of water on flesh, minus the clinging wet fabric. There is the extra thrill of the risk that someone shows up halfway through (which has happened, but mostly here in New Zealand noone really cares too much!) 😊