A little bit of woo...
...never did any harm?
This portion of Lemon Soul is best served as a main course to the appetizer served last week - ‘Whose body is it anyway?’. For optimum satisfaction, this particular series of articles is recommended as a three course meal. There will be a dessert (but not imminently, I like to rest after the main), and perhaps following that, even a coffee and a mint (except it will be tea). All for the bargain price of £0, but if you’d like to leave a tip - the paid subscription option is always available 🤣🙏
In the mean time...
Double double, toil and trouble
Instinctively I want to begin by saying that I am very much NOT woo woo. I feel strangely conditioned to distance myself from this notion, lest I am envisaged as a white witch (although I think white witches are pretty damn cool), but I wonder if my own fear of ‘woo’ just feeds into the (yes folks - predominantly patriarchal) narrative of suspicion around anything that is not ‘conventional’, or perhaps sits firmly within the feminine?!?. The fear of being scorned, disbelieved, or dunked in a lake...although we all know I’d love that.
I am very spiritual, but I am also a scientist. My degree is in mathematics and statistics, and my professional background is steeped in evidence and proof, justification and rationale. I definitely struggle with things like astrology, but I do hold faith in many other areas, and I certainly believe in the interconnected power of the mind and body, and that we have a soul.
I believe that anger and sadness can destroy a body, and that hope and optimism have great capacity to heal. I am hugely accepting of alternative medicine in theory, although have yet to really experience the benefits. The principles of Chinese Medicine make absolute sense to me and that is an area in which I am keen to learn more. I have tried acupuncture a few times but I really don’t like it. I don’t have a fear of needles (which is rather fortunate as I have spent years with a unintentional side hustle as a pin cushion), but something about the particular type of acupuncture needle contact, especially in my hands, makes me deeply uncomfortable. Open to analysis on that.
I have, however, found great comfort in massage, lymphatic drainage and reiki. There is something deeply soothing and comforting for me in the power of touch. I have also tried salt therapy (with infra red light therapy), which is quite a delightful experience - relaxing in a warm, softly lit room filled with high grade salt particles. Just being in there is very pleasant - I’d highly recommend it just for some time to chill, although I can never resist the urge to lick my arms when I come out.
Whilst some of these treatments are thoroughly enjoyable, nothing has so far stopped my erratic cycle of pain, which has brought me to the point where I’ll pretty much give anything a try (save consulting the stars). I love this comment on the ‘Whose body is it anyway’ thread from
:‘if a healer convinced me with even anecdotal evidence that I could get a partial cure if I inserted a pessary while hopping up and down on one foot and whistling the national anthem backwards, I would have given it a red hot go’.
YES!!! Exactly. And that is kind of how I’ve arrived at homeopathy.
Eye of newt and toe of frog
Homeopathy, as I understand it, is predicated on the concept that ‘like cures like’ which I think means that something that can cause symptoms, can also be used in infinitessimal doses to treat symptoms, and moreover is centred on the notion of enabling the body to heal itself. How curious, said Alice.
A little bit of googling will reveal the NHS calling it a “treatment” in inverted commas to instantly distance itself from any kind of validation, and Wikipedia leading with ‘all relevant scientific knowledge about physics, chemistry, biochemistry and biology contradicts homeopathy. Homeopathic remedies are biochemically inert and have no effect on any known disease’.
So no surprises so far, but as someone who sits probably quite centrally on a scale that stretches from ‘absolute scientific proof required of everything and it is not possible that God exists’ on one end, to ‘crystal healing, tarot and celestial alignment’ on the other (and I have dear and respected friends in both camps so I in no way intend either description to be derogatory), I’m happy to give it a go.
In thunder, lightning or in rain?
The first thing about consulting a homeopath, or in fact anyone outside of an NHS ten minute appointment, is that you are given the duals gift of time, and actually feeling listened to, which are in themselves precious beyond belief. In my initial appointment (which is the only one I’ve had so far), my practitioner was warm, friendly, professional and knowledgeable, and with a background as a pharmacist, gave me a sense of comfort and confidence. My innate need to intellectualise things satisfied by her previous career, I could open myself to that which is outside my sphere of comfort. She hadn’t materialised from the ether or stepped through a time portal from a parallel universe, she was real and sensible. A good place to start.
We began with a discussion of my history and context. For me, it is always therapeutic to talk through this (when I have the energy to do so), and beginning to put my trauma events and health issues into a timeline was really helpful. It is something that I have done many times in my head, searching for correlations, but there is something in speaking it out loud that always brings new revelations.
The next part of the conversation centred on what I am currently experiencing physically, to help her get to the root of the problem and to target remedies that can alleviate that side of things, alongside the possibility of releasing emotional trapped trauma.
The final part of the consultation involved what the practitioner called ‘odd questions’ and this I found especially fascinating. It felt a bit like that game show Joey appeared on in Friends:
name something white: paper, snow, a ghost!!
[excuse the plethora of Friends references at the moment, but having watched it several times in my own young adulthood, my teenage daughters now play it on a loop so it is very much present in my psyche].
I can’t remember all of the homeopath ‘odd questions’ but it was a quick fire round of:
what are your favourite foods? ooh!! um...white toast and butter, avocado, prawns, tomato, halloumi, crisps, bacon, oranges (want to add more...)
What are your least favourite foods? er...(panic panic think of something) rice pudding, creme caramel, rocket (so random)
do you like aubergines? easy peasy - yes - LOVE them
do you cry? rarely - I feel like I’ve cried so much in the past, and if I cry again I may never stop.
if you cry, do you want to be hugged and comforted or cry alone? alone
do you like thunderstorms? another easy one - YES! - LOVE them
what’s your favourite season? eek! I love them all, I love the change. I love wrapping up in winter, the smell of autumn, the freedom of summer...but I guess spring? It’s just so hopeful.
do you like warm or cold? both.
do you sweat? hmm...weirdly not much.
do you have problems sleeping? ha!..no. I have chronic fatigue. I have problems waking up
do you dream? fuck yes - regularly and vividly
do you have recurrent dreams? yes - one where I need to go to the loo and all the toilets don’t have doors on them, or the seats are broken or they’re blocked. Another where I visit the house I had to sell in order to give up work, except it’s not actually the real house - it’s a different house in my dream but I know it intimately.
do you get angry? rarely
what does make you angry? injustice
what upsets you? my children in pain
There was also a poo chart. And so it went on. At the end of this three part structure, the homeopath explained that she would be sending me a remedy in the post, gave me an outline of what she was thinking of, and we would meet again in a month.
Job done. But what was it she was thinking of? And what was she going to send me?
In the cauldron boil and bake
She explained how my answers would inform her prescription, such as how I like salty, not sweet, my dislike for slimy textures (although there is aubergine - these things are not absolute), my affinity with the cold, inability to release tears/sweat/poo. I bathe in words and concepts that are new to me - nat mur, rus tox, urtica urens, rooter, arnica, nettles - ooh I’ve heard of the last two!! (Bruise soother and weird soup ingredient - probably used by white witches). I google away as quietly as I can whilst still on the call. We talk about salt water as a healing force - right up my street!! This makes a lot of sense so far - the medicinal power of plants/minerals is undisputed and I think we have lost so much of this understanding in modernisation. I feel excited to receive my personalised concoction.
I think I expected that my remedy would be medicinal plants or herbs, delivered in the form of liquid or perhaps a powder, but she explained that what I will actually receive is some tiny sugar pills in the post. The concept behind the pills is that they absorb a super diluted liquid that once held elements of the plants/mineral/substance, but those elements are actually removed through the homeopathy process.
Sorry, what now?
I am fascinated by the whole concept so I ask her to explain a bit more about what is actually in the liquid (and therefore the pills). I am led to understand that at source, the liquids contain absorbed molecules of the appropriate substances - for example nettles, sea salt (in the case of nat mur), and then 1 drop of this liquid is diluted with 99 drops of water, and banged on a table. This process is repeated with the diluted liquid - one drop is mixed with 99 drops of water and banged on the table. This is then repeated again and again several times, until effectively the concentration of the original substance is so diluted as to be at [deep breath] ‘sixth centissimal potency and beyond ‘Avogadro’s constant’’ (ears prick up at vague science reference).
I have no idea what that sentence means, but effectively by the time the whole process is complete - and the banging on the table is a key part of it - there is no longer any trace of the original molecular structure contained in the liquid at all. It now contains the essence and ‘energy’ of the original plant/mineral source rather than any actual substance at all.
Okkkaaayyyy. *strokes chin*
I ponder this for a moment, and decide - ok, yes, I can go with this. I write in Breaking Waves about water having memory as we bathe in oceans that have held the history of our planet; so I think I can get on board with the notion of the imprint, essence, memory or ‘energy’ of a curative substance being left behind in water. And I’m certainly open to try. The sugar pill then absorbs some of this water, and that is what is sent to me. I am once again a happy guinea pig.
EXCEPT..., she goes on to explain, that there are different ways of transferring this ‘energy’ to the sugar tablet, and she doesn’t actually use the super diluted liquid to infuse the sugar tablet at all. Her method is to use a machine which is coded to send the energy into the sugar tablet through vibrations. The machine vibrates the tablet using a frequency modulating kit (?) to an energy level appropriate to the remedy that is being formulated. You may need to read that line a few times. I had to listen to it several times.
That tablet is pure sugar, and it doesn’t touch another substance, but the healing energy is transferred through the right amount and combination of vibrations. The tablet is merely the vehicle for the energy transfer. I’m not gonna lie, my faith is being slightly tested here, and I grew up believing everything the nuns taught me.
Sensing my doubt, she tells me how her own husband seeks clarification about this process: ‘so...you make nothing out of nothing?’. ‘Absolutely’ she says.
[When I relay this to my husband later that evening, who had up until this point been struggling to rearrange his face between ‘this is bullshit’ and ‘supportive’, he seems heartened by her own husband’s cynicism, following it up with: ‘and you’re paying how much for this?’. It’s a fair question.]
What I actually love is her own complete understanding of the cynicism - I’m able to openly say ‘I’m struggling with this’. She is very patient, explaining how she knows it sounds nuts to treat people with ‘nothing’, but firmly and confidently tells me - ‘it works. People get better. The proof is in the pudding.’. And we all like our pudding with a bit of sugar after all.
What have I got to lose?
When I tell my hubby I’m planning to give it a go, he asks me if I need to follow the treatment up with several lashings from a ukulele leaf. I ask him if he means a eucalyptus leaf (he’s dyslexic). He did indeed mean eucalyptus but we don’t have any of that to hand. That said, he’s not completely dismissive. My husband is emphatically NOT a twat, and would actually do anything to help ease my suffering, even if it does involve me bashing myself with a tiny guitar. He’d probably even whistle the National Anthem backwards whilst I do it.
(To be fair to him, his scepticism is borne out of concern that there may be charlatans around waiting to prey on the vulnerable. Well, you only need to read today’s news to see that you’re just as (if not more) likely to encounter that in a surgical operating theatre).
Then the charm is fair and good
A week later (as the UK Royal Mail Service appears to have imploded and next day delivery is a thing of the past) my gorgeous little packet arrives in the post.
I open up the envelopes with my instructions on, and an eager, tiny, perfectly round ball pops out and rolls around my table - I swear it has an energy of its own. At this point, I don’t care if it’s a placebo, I don’t care if it’s ‘nothing’, all I care about is whether it will help me, and if I believe that in any way it can, then it might just work. And there will certainly be no side effects unlike with the cocktail of Western meds I’m currently taking.
So whilst homeopathy will most definitely fall into the mumbo jumbo hocus pocus space for many, the overriding feeling for me is that it will do no harm, and it’s worth a try. Having a practitioner actually prepared to assess the whole of you is a wonderful thing, and to quote
once more ‘especially when delivered with a side of compassion rather than gaslighting’. [What a quote!!!!!]So I’ll take my teeny spoonful of sugar, with my side of compassion, and await what may happen next with an open mind.
Watch this space.
Have you tried homeopathy or other alternative remedies? How have they worked for you?
I’d love to hear.
Love & lemons 🍋
Em x
Love this, though my eyebrows were raising higher and higher the more I read! But what the hell, why not? I’m now intrigued by the little ball of sugar energy. Also the idea of not excreting tears and sweat, I’m the same. I wonder if that means we hold salt? Tbh, an hour with someone listening to you may do as much good as the pill, but we’ll see xx
I am definitely in the woo woo camp Emma! It’s not always been the case and I’ve spent a few years being comfortable in coming out. Yes many of us hold what is called a witch wound where any time you are expressing your ‘witchiness’ whatever that might look like for you, you experience the fears that your ancestors will have done from the persecution, dunking etc. I love reiki and it’s my go to as someone who is a healer. The lady I go to also combines it with crystal healing. I found acupuncture helpful for me, but I get the needle thing. Your husband sounds like mine, supportive and doesn’t ask too many questions!